Just Watching, Not Helping
by Keliza
Summary: The 4077th is visited by a young man, who gains an insight into the work of the Unit and the people in it. Please R and R. More to come...
1. Default Chapter

Please read and review this little story. There is more to come, and it should improve. All input gratefully received.  
JUST WATCHING, NOT HELPING  
Keliza  
  
He had been so looking forward to this, it was such an opportunity and not a lot short of a miracle that he of all his peers had been chosen. Alex Bradley sat in the small, not entirely sturdy, helicopter mentally preparing himself for the week ahead of him. In his hand he held his authorisation, signed by some senior military official. He was on a fact- finding assignment to a MASH unit, singled out from his colleagues to go to the Korean theatre to observe for one wee the workings of a front line hospital.  
  
He was only a college kid, he told himself in one of his greater moments of self-doubt, unsure of his future and only following his talents into a career in journalism. He pushed the questions about his father to be back of his mind, surely he had had nothing to do with this. The culmination of this week would be an article in a national paper and, with luck, an internship. Alex knew it was not a little unusual to send young reporters to a war zone and, his self-doubter reasoned, exactly how much of a compliment was it to be sent to a place where people got shot as a matter of course?  
  
His reverie was abruptly ended when the chopper set down. The preoccupied pilot gestured to him to get out and pointed vaguely towards a mass of khaki tentage. Alex scurried away from the chopper, little stories about rotor blades present in his mind. He wondered in the direction of the camp, feeling a little lost already. Around him so many people were rushing here and there, each with a deliberate purpose.  
  
He was to report to the commanding officer at 0900. Alex wandered tentatively between the clusters of tents, feeling smaller than he had since his first visit to a football stadium. He saw an approachable-looking woman in uniform. " Excuse me, ma'am? Do you know where the Colonel's office is? The approachable-looking woman actually looked rather masculine when she came close, and when she spoke, she also sounded rather, well, gruff. "Over there on the right." "Thanks, .sergeant? said Alex unsure of the rank or gender of the wearer of the uniform. "It Corporal Klinger. Welcome to the 4077th!"  
  
Alex followed the directions and found himself in an office of sorts, stacks of paper everywhere. A young man, who looked about his own age despite being a good foot shorter, greeted him. "Hello, Mr. Bradley. The colonel's busy right now but you're gonna be with Capt. Hunnicutt. He's real nice. Look, I got you a white coat, cleanliness or something. Nice, huh?" Alex took the coat, slightly bewildered. He wasn't quite sure who the young man was, but he seemed to know what he was doing. He had called him 'Mr Bradley', which nobody ever called him. He fought the impulse to look around for his uncle. What was he supposed to do now? "You'll find BJ, uh, that's Capt. Hunnicutt, in Pre-Op," he said, before Alex's mouth had the opportunity to form a question. "I'm Corporal O'Reilly, the company clerk. Call me Radar."  
  
Alex wandered slowly out of the office to Pre-Op, which he managed to find on the second attempt, thanks to the large painted sign. He introduced himself to Capt. Hunnicutt. He was surprised at how young the doctor was. In his experiences doctors were old and smelled strongly of whisky. This younger doctor certainly seemed to have a more professional attitude than those old lechers.  
  
BJ was setting up transfusions for the latest admission of wounded. The boy who walked up to him was striking I appearance, nearly as tall as he was with green eyes and blond hair. He had a wholesome all-American look about him; his presence in the dingy ward only reminded BJ of the sadness of his normality.  
  
Alex glanced around him. There were 8 men in the room, but a lingering look at a few of the faces revealed that they were no older than Alex himself. He made eye contact with a patient that the doctor was walking over to. He was just resting. Alex couldn't see any injury on him, just a slightly pale and tired appearance. The patient- Morley was his name- gave Alex a small smile, which made him look ever so like Alex's younger brother. When Capt. Hunnicutt had finished, he walked with Alex to supply. "You are here to observe, but don't be afraid to ask questions. If you don't feel comfortable, leave, ok?" Alex nodded. BJ caught his glance fall on Morley. "Nice kid. 17 years old, but he won't make it. Internal bleeding, there just isn't a whole lot we can do. Grab some bandages will you? We're moving on."  
  
Alex looked back at the boy in the bed, who was still smiling up at him weakly, and felt that something inside him go.  
  
After spending some time in Pre-Op, trying to learn something about the blood transfusion protocols, Alex went with Capt. Hunnicutt over to Post- Op, where Alex once again felt a change in atmosphere. Here he saw for the first time what his assignment had always promised; blood, pain and disfigurement. The knowledge that this was why he was here did not settle the queasiness in his stomach. He focused on the doctor's back and followed him, head down. BJ walked past the sick men in their beds to one at the very end of the ward, a bed with a curtain screen around it.  
  
As Alex was about to follow him behind the screen, BJ held him back. He led him aside away from the patient. "Look, this guy is just coming around from the anaesthetic. We've had to take his leg, amputate it below the knee." He spoke in low tones, deliberately and maintaining eye contact with him. "We haven't told him and he won't have noticed yet. He's not fully with it and we need to break it to him gently later. So. I need you to act completely normal. Compose yourself and follow my lead ok?" Alex nodded dumbly and followed the captain in with a bizarre feeling of guilt.  
  
To Alex's surprise, it was him the patient first addressed. Knocked slightly, he suddenly felt very conscious of the white coat he was wearing. He tried to smile reassuringly and looked hopefully at Capt. Hunnicutt. BJ chatted naturally to him, like they had met at the shops. Alex was deliberately focusing his gaze on the patient's torso, not on the recess in the sheets where the left leg, in all rightness, should have been. He felt guilty that this poor guy had no idea of his present situation, whereas he, a nobody with no connection to the patient, stood there fully informed.  
  
Alex yawned discreetly. It wasn't that his morning had been particularly dull - it had been very revealing - but the journey had made him tired. A nurse that had been quietly standing with them turned to him. "He's been up since 3am, we had fresh wounded in. Try and make sure he has a lunch break after his round. Might not thank you for it but he should keep his strength up." Alex had never felt less significant.  
  
At about 2 o'clock, they had finished dealing with most of the wounded . Alex had followed a pace behind the captain at all times, just taking in everything around him. On occasion the doctor would look at him inviting a question but Alex could not think of anything sensible to ask and slowly became convinced that they thought he was a total moron. They went to the mess tent. Alex had been feeling hungry all morning but every time a complaint formed in his mind, he remembered the shift that Capt. Hunnicutt was on. He had, nevertheless been looking forward to lunch. He had distinct memories of the lunches the doctor's back home had at the hotel where he worked part-time. He expected something special from these, since the doctors out there seemed to do something other than drink and play golf. He was not a little disappointed. His comparatively recent encounters with school cafeteria cuisine had somewhat galvanised his stomach, but he still found the army food only a bit less repulsive than the rest of the men. It was clear people here only ate out of necessity.  
  
At dinner two other men joined the group Alex was sat with. There were no introductions, but Alex sat and he listened. "So, Beej. How is that kid from last night? The one who used his leg to probe for mines." "Sullivan? Well, he isn't going to be running away." "Ah, it's one way for the army to keep hold of the men." Alex coughed politely, "Uh, Captain, could you pass me the salt please, sir?" Hunnicutt looked up, "Sure. One thing, though. I'm a doctor not a captain. And as you aren't army then I don't see why you should call me sir. BJ would be just fine"  
  
Alex muttered thanks and looked away. He didn't feel comfortable with the group of people who he felt were so much more experienced, people who could take what he had seen that day as a joke. From the corner of his eye, Hawkeye caught a flicker of something in Alex's face. He broke his conversation with BJ and spoke to him. "Hey Kid! Hey. Sorry, I've been rude. I'm Hawkeye." Alex looked up from his coffee, which was the least like coffee he had ever tasted, and looked at BJ's friend. He had very dark hair and blue eyes. Squaring himself up, Alex spoke, "Hello, I'm Alexander Bradley. I'm here observing you guys, sir. Hey, are you Capt. Hawkeye Pierce?" "The very same." "Ah, yeah. The nurse e were with this morning warned me not to do anything you do." "That would be the sweet Nurse Johnson, Hawk." Said BJ with a knowing look in his eyes.  
  
Just then, Radar ran into the mess, looking flustered. "Choppers, sirs!" Alex was just about to point out that he couldn't hea..when he heard them fly over head. In answer to Alex's confused look, BJ simply said, "He always does that - don't question it. Gonna follow?" So we gulped the rest of his coffee and chased after the men already half way across the compound, nearly knocking over a nurse in the process. He turned to apologise only to hear, "Sorry, sir. Go on, there are more wounded on the way in!" He went on, seeing the groups of soldiers part for him, as if he was important.  
  
He felt once again the weight of the white coat he was wearing. It didn't mean he was anything, but the status that it gave you in people's mind. They attributed you with powers that you just did not have. These doctors, Dr. Hunnicutt and his colleagues, had it, and it was amazing.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED 


	2. Just Watching, Not Helping Part 2

Here is the second part of the story, with a third soon to follow. Please read and review, so I can know whether to keep going or give up totally - every time I write it gets longer. Thanks!  
  
JUST WATCHING, NOT HELPING Part Two  
  
Keliza  
  
Alex Bradley turned in his sleep, and, as his subconscious mind had forgotten where he was, he fell out of the wooden cot. He landed with a thump on the dirt floor of the tent, with a pair of large black boots digging sharply between his ribs. But he did not wake up. He had only been asleep for 2 hours. What awoke him was a tall groggy surgeon gently pulling his boots from under the body of the young man. BJ Hunnicutt had had just over three hours of blessed slumber when Radar had fetched him to see a patient taking a turn for the worst. He stopped for a moment to consider Alex. He had to admit to being surprised at how well the boy, that was all he was really, had conducted himself in the 40-plus hours in surgery. He was free to leave whenever he wanted but stood with the surgeons. He grabbed his jacket and left the tent.  
  
Alex opened his eyes slowly, anticipating the bright morning sunshine glaring off the dazzling white walls of his room. The darkness and its dingy green tinge reminding him of everything all at once. He had seen so much in the past couple few days, his head ached almost as much as his heart when he tried to process it. He closed his eyes, blanking out his surroundings, only to see flashes of images of the days before in front of his eyes, and sounds that seemed to jump out at him.  
  
There had been a push up at the front, fighting for a small Korean town. The wounded came slowly at first. He followed the doctors up to the helicopters, as he did always, trying to be as unobtrusive as possible. He wanted to see what they were doing, his curiosity about their work grew the more he saw of it. They brought the casualties down to Pre-Op and BJ stated to talk through his work. Alex had been too self-conscious to ask questions; he didn't know where to start, but Dr. Hunnicutt sensed his curiosity and took to narrating. "See, Alex, this fellow here can wait. He's got a leg wound but once we stop the bleeding he'll be just fine, won't you soldier?"  
  
"If you say so, Doctor!" said the Private, appearing reassured. He moved on to the next guy, greeting him casually. A superficial glance revealed nothing to be wrong, until you looked underneath the guy's jacket. There was blood oozing and bubbling through his shirt.  
  
"Well, I think this gentleman should go to the front of the queue. Deserves special service, I think. How about that, Lieutenant? The army putting you first." The Lieutenant tried to chuckle but all that came from him was a rasping gurgle. Alex smiled a look of reassurance at him. He was learning quickly that that was the extent of his powers here. "How do you do that, doctor?" Alex asked.  
  
"What do you mean?" BJ answered  
  
"Make people think that it's a good thing, whether they're going first or last."  
  
"It's a knack. And it's called triage. If you need help the most you get it first - that's good, right?"  
  
He followed BJ around, suddenly becoming very conscious of the screaming. There were screams, shouts and cries coming from all around him. Suddenly he felt a tug on his arm. He turned around to see the manly corporal in a dress that had first greeted him at the 4077th. "Hey, kid. Grab the other end of the would ya?" Alex obeyed silently, carried the stretcher through. He wanted to ignore the crying and focus on something else. He noticed that the corporal was wearing a long blue cotton dress with a daisy belt, with a red splash across one shoulder. He looked again and noticed that there was now a second dash of red on the hip, and another that trailed off the sleeve and onto the hairy arm and he walked briskly away.  
  
He bumped into Dr. Pierce, Hawkeye. Alex had been surprised by his broad smile and ever-present laughter, but his features were now set determinedly. Alex apologised, Hawkeye ignored it. "You coming into theatre, kid?"  
  
"I don't know, doctor. Am I allowed?"  
  
"Sure, you wanna see the war. This is a must." Alex nodded uncertainly, following Hawkeye's brisk pace.  
  
"You'll find scrubs in there. Be quick, we're starting in a sec. There are more on the way."  
  
"Thank you, doctor," he said steadily, trying to conceal his apprehension.  
  
"OK", said Hawkeye, as he went in. "One thing," he said, poking his head back around the door, "you're not squeamish, are you?"  
  
Alex thought back over events in his childhood where he had cut his knee or when his brother had cracked his head on Miss Cartwright's doorstep, and, remembering that he hadn't fainted then, shook his head confidently at Hawkeye. What would he have done if I had said yes? he wondered, as he put on the pyjama-type garments. In the corner of the changing room he saw the bag of dirty linen, and caught a glimpse of the blood spattered clothing. Then he took a deep breath and walked in to the OR.  
  
There was a real commotion. People everywhere, bustling to and fro, in and out, all of them with designated tasks, all knowing exactly what their function in the room was. Alex stood at the door for a moment, unsure of himself. Then he nearly tripped up a nurse carrying bottles of blood and decided he should move. He wondered how he could manage to feel so lost in such a small room. He noticed a large piece of machinery he guessed was for the gas and occupied himself staring at that, trying not to look so out of place as he felt. Then, to Alex's relief, BJ came into the room, although it took him a second to recognise the man with is mask and surgical cap on. He was surprised that BJ noticed him, standing quietly in the corner. "Hey, Alex. Come over here. Nurse, could you get this young man a stool? Come on, kid, you can get closer than that."  
  
The nurse looked around here for the stool. There was something in her demeanour that Alex could recognise; she too felt alien and self-conscious in this environment. He coughed politely, "Uh, nurse? I think I see it under that trolley." She brought it over, then retired to a corner of the room where she was least conspicuous. Alex smiled over at her but saw no response, then again her mask did cover most of her face. While the patient was carried into the room and onto the table, Alex once again retreated out of the way, this time to the corner occupied by the inconspicuous nurse. This time, Alex noticed that her eyes smiled at him, shyly.  
  
"Hi" he said in a quiet voice. Wasn't it amazing how an unfamiliar situation causes everybody to regress to the shy little thing they were on their first day of school, not matter how confident they had become since?  
  
"Just tell me if I get in the way," he said.  
  
"I'm new. I don't really know what I'm doing," said the nurse, giving a small self-conscious laugh. Alex could certainly sympathise with that feeling. At least she had a decent excuse for her presence, she was a nurse and this was here job. "I wouldn't notice. You seem to know what you are doing to me," Alex reassured. "For all my opinion's worth," he added. She laughed again.  
  
"Alex, we're almost ready over here!" BJ shouted. Alex walked tentatively over to the table, noticing the nurse following him. "Just don't touch the instrument tray or the surgeon" he heard her whisper in his ear.  
  
"And don't sneeze right?" The laugh again, this time sounding more amused than nervy. Alex stood just out of the field, just out of germ distance. He watched the first incision, all the time wondering if an undiscovered phobia of gore would surface. To his great relief, he felt fine. "OK, Alex. I'm just opening up this guy's chest. He has a collapsed lung, probably caused by this piece of metal here," he indicated one of the lumps of shrapnel embedded in the skin. Alex swallowed. "Nurse, scissors. If we're lucky, the damage will be local and fairly easy to repair. Alex, if at any time you feel faint or dizzy, get down off the stool, ok? Don't want you falling again cracking your head , or worse falling into the patient. Retractor, nurse."  
  
Well, that was something he didn't expect to hear: a way he could wreck the surgery he hadn't already gone over in his mind a hundred times. He saw BJ's eyes focused intently on what he was doing and he marvelled at how quickly his hands worked. Alex watched from his position, fascinated by the work going on before him. It crossed his mind that the inside of a human being actually looks a lot like a piece of raw meat, when its sprawled open by a retractor. Gee, that was something to make you think. Us humans may think we're all high and mighty but if you look at our insides we are really very like an animal. Then they got the saw. Alex had looked away at that moment and heard the rasping of its teeth on the bone before he realised what it was. This was the point where he would expect himself to faint, but he felt strangely fine. He glanced across at the nurse and she swallowed hard. They made eye contact again.  
  
BJ went on with his description of what he was doing. "Well, here we have the lungs, you see how this one has a different texture to that one? And under here we have the heart." Alex leaned in as much as he dared to get a closer look. Amazing to think he looked the same under his own skin. BJ delved his hands into the body, surprising Alex by going up to his elbows in the man's thorax. Admiration, an increasingly familiar feeling, swept over him again. He was just finishing up, about to close, when he asked Alex if he had any questions. Although he didn't anticipated any, as so far the boy had mostly just studiously taken in what was going on, Alex surprised him by asking something.  
  
"Uh, BJ? What's that there?"  
  
"Which bit?"  
  
"There, behind the.., windpipe is it?, there's a pink thing. No, not the lung, yeah, round there?"  
  
"A swab! Nurse, didn't you count them in?!" BJ said angrily. Alex saw the poor nurse's eyes begin to well up, and was surprised to see the surgeon pull out some material as big as a bath towel from the man's body. He hadn't noticed them put THAT in. "Thanks, kid. That was important! I just can't have eyes that can see every angle of the cavity," BJ said looking carefully at the nurse. She took a steadying breath and walked slowly out, while another took her place at the table. Alex wanted to go talk to her, apologise for getting her in trouble. But he didn't.  
  
As soon as they had finished with the patient, another was quickly rolled in. He had a simple belly wound. Then there was another, with a bullet in his shoulder. Then another and another. Alex was starting to feel tired, but BJ was working as quickly and rigorously as ever. He looked around the room to see that the other surgeons had the same determined concentrated expression on their faces.  
  
"Hey, everybody! I got an interesting one here" Hawkeye's clear voice, cut through the low monosyllabic exchanges of surgeons and nurses. "Oh, it's a beauty, perfect candidate for an arterial transplant. Oh, Beej, you want this?"  
  
"I'm ok over here thanks. This spleen keeps bleeding. Hey, Alex, you wanna go and watch something really interesting?" he said, nodding in Hawkeye's direction. Alex walked carefully across the room trying not to trip over anything vital. "Hey, Alex, how you doing?" Hawkeye enquired.  
  
"I'm ok, doctor. Not fainted yet."  
  
"Good sign. This is operation is a bit more interesting than most of the meatball stuff you'll see round here. This is my able, and always willing, assistant Major Houlihan."  
  
"Watch it, Pierce. Who is our visitor anyway? I don't think we have been introduced. I'm Major Margaret Houlihan, Head Nurse." Alex prayed that his smile did not show from under his mask. He had already heard a number of stories about 'Hotlips', and was already suspecting that at least some of them were true. Before he could be sure he could trust his mouth to open, Hawkeye introduced him. "Margaret, dear, Alex is a visitor, he's writing an article about this loony bin. I want you to be nice to him." He said winking. "Don't scare the boy" he whispered in her ear. She looked indignant but said nothing more.  
  
The operation was fascinating, and looked to Alex's untrained eye pretty complex. Considering the fact they were constantly bantering, he also noticed the slick routine of the surgeon and his nurse. The flow of casualties through the doors seemed to have slowed after heaven-knows-how- long that they were in the OR. He had taken to watching the surgeon as much as the patient, and Hawkeye had an intriguing attitude. He would laugh and joke with all the nurses, even the major who was of higher rank than he was, he joked about the war, about death but at the same time Alex noticed that his eyes never lost their determined and focused view of the wound.  
  
His remarks shocked Alex initially. He was quickly realising why the nice nurse in Post-Op had warned Alex about him; he was certainly a bit unorthodox. But as much as they protested at his lewd suggestions, Alex noticed the glint in the eyes of the nurses as they turned away tutting, and the extra wiggle in their step. It was his flippancy that most unsettled Alex. He would make little throwaway remarks about the wounded, not that they were cruel, maybe it was just gallows humour that Alex was quite accustomed to. It wasn't until he had finished with the soldier on the table and the nurses had turned away that Alex heard him talking to the patient.  
  
"Now, kid, you just go on and get better. You'll be back to kissing rose- cheeked little ladies in the parking lot before you know it. Get better and go back to your childhood." His face was still, and the mirth in his eyes had faded for a second. It was then that Alex got it. Being Hawkeye was just Dr. Pierce's way of dealing.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED 


End file.
